Huggy entered the dusty offices of Bodgit, Bendit and Butler. Noticing the receptionist wasn't there, he walked smartly up to the door labelled 'Henry Abraham, Solicitor - Property'. It was slightly ajar, and before he could knock, he overheard feminine giggling, and couldn't resist the temptation to listen in:
"ooh, Mr Abraham sir, isn't it a big one".
"Oh yes, Miss Withers, it's very big"", growled Henry
"It's so big, and plump and glistening and..."
Huggy started to step away from the door, thinking this was an inopportune moment.
"...golden, Mr Abraham".
"Just call me 'champ', Miss Withers".
Sudden realisation came to Huggy that Henry was using his Nat Champs (Masters) Gold medal to full advantage.
"And you look great in this picture with your partner... whatisname... Steve?..." said Miss Withers
"Sir Steve to you, Miss Withers..."
At which point Huggy had had enough, knocked, waited a second for the unseemly jostling of clothing to subside, and entered.
"Hello Champion!" cried out H, as he finished buttoning up his shirt over a glint of gold.
"Go get 'em, Champ", fired back Huggy, rapidly shooting his fingers at H in response.
"...and I want those deeds typed up by lunchtime, Miss Withers", to the retreating back of the not surprisingly dizzy looking blonde as she tottered out of the room.
With his equamity quickly returned, Henry plumped himself into a very comfortable armchair, nonchanantly brushed off a platinum hair from his Saville Row pin-striped trousers, clicked something very reminiscent of a taxi meter and said, "Well Hugs, old chap - what an unexpected surprise, what can I do for you?"
"What's that you clicked, Henry?". Huggy responded as he sat in a slightly less comfortable chair, alarm bells ringing.
"Time is money, old boy"
Before Huggy could retort, Bill Butler entered the room without knocking, greeted Huggy with surprise, remonstrated with Henry over something very technical and legal, and before leaving, as if in afterthought came to the real point of his visit:
"Where do think I be rowing this Sunday, Henry".
"Oh definitely in the Stroke seat of the first Veteran Eight, Mr Butler, sir, your name is engraved on that seat sir". cringed Henry, with unusual obsequiousness.
Thus reassured of his place in the eight, Bill left the office, and Huggy finally could get to the point of his visit.
He took out of his briefcase a very large document, and plonked it on Henry's coffee table.
"And what's that, pray"
"That, is a Competitor Analysis for the Vet D Double Sculls at Henley Veterans."
Impressed, Henry picked up the tome and leafed through it. Within were multiple statistics: possible competing crews, past performances from the previous 10 years, expected winning times, taking to account upstream river flow on either station, weather variables, crew biographies of the main players; and a startling SWOT analysis, where their Strengths were listed as 'joie de vivre', 'a devil may care attitude to training' and 'the Roger Mobbs - an Empacher in disguise'. These compared to Weaknesses too many to mention here, one Opportunity 'everlasting glory' and for Threats: the who's who of all the potential winners including: Poplar and Blackwall, Peterborough RC, Nottingham BC, Tideway Scullers, Ardingly, Thames Tradesmen and the Bradford Boyz; plus numerous other internationally renowned outfits such as Breda from Holland...you get the picture.
Henry's upper lip curled during his quick perusal of the contents. Chucking the report back on the table, "Let's cut to the chase - give me the Management Summary, and no BS", he snarled, pointing his finger at Huggy in his best Alan Sugar impression. The response was immediate:
"We need to row as hard and as well as we did at Nottingham, only 10 seconds faster just to be in the same ballpark as these other guys. In short: we are toast".
As the news sunk in, Henry's upper lip curled even further.
"Now those are the kind of odds I like, Hugs - sign us up".
Also at Henley Vets, a Vet B 8+ comprising the older seniors from our Henley crew, Ollie and Gerraint, and 2 others to be advised.
The Vet E 4+ will also play.
More anon.
The Draw is now Up!
Henley Vets - Draw
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