St Neots Regatta 24/25 July 2010

St. Neots course from the Bridge.  Note Vets putting on beer goggles in pub at right.

The club (vets and seniors) went mob-handed to St. Neots, a pretty market town in the middle of nowhere in Cambridgeshire. The weather was kind, and there was none of the rowdiness on the campsite that you sometimes get at regattas.

Our ever increasing army of camp followers set up their brightly coloured tents, festooned with lights and flags, in the well manicured regatta field, while hordes of children and dogs scampered around making a pleasant nuisance of themselves. All was good in the world as our women settled down with a good book in one hand and sun-cream in the other, emotionally sending their men off to the war... or should I say...
...the SLAUGHTER.


Simon's Vet C crew.

I won't go through the catalog of lost first heats, over those 2 days. But the ritual of sending in last minute scratch crews against well drilled opposition, and have them trail in a few lengths down, felt reminiscent of sending our boys over the top at the Somme, and being machined gunned before taking a few steps... or in our case, a few strokes.


I'm not blaming anyone. All put in their best indivdual efforts, it's just a matter of organisation - more anon.


Some of the Veterans took to drink. Boats were broken, and their replacements were broken. And one or two of our combatants didn't even make the start.


It was bloody.


There were some glimmers of hope on Day One. The Mixed IM3 8+ with some fresh faces like Charlotte and John, won their semi against Bedford, but lost to
Norwich in the final.

The Vet F 2x of Mr Chairman (Robin) and Tony Marshall, strolled to win their category beating Erith and Doncaster in the process.

Typical winning distance of the Vet F2x over the two days - very impressive

By all accounts, the Seniors had a quiet reflective night going to bed early with teddy bears and hot chocolate. The older, wiser Vets retired to hotels and beds in friend's houses; and the younger, less wise Vets hit the beer.

16 of us visited a Chinese restaurant, where Henry waved his now dented and well bitten Nat Champs gold medal which attracted a motley crowd of mature Hen-nighters for some banter and photos.


Huggy tried out his favourite pick-up line:


Hen-nighter: "where are you lot from then, my lover"

Huggy: "Maidstone"

Hen-nighter: "Never heard of it, what's in Maidstone then?"
Huggy: "It's got a high security prison, and we're all inmates".

It worked like a charm, and he never saw her again.


Rickwood had one drink over his limit (which would be half a pint) and didn't realise he was being picked up, when the lead hen-nighter known as "Breasts" said something obscene about his "cox" (gosh, never heard that one before), and he just plain didn't get the hint.


Plans for a night-cap in a local hostelry were made and broken, and we fortunately never saw them again.

St. Neots Hen-nighters 2 - Maidstone Prison Rowing Club 1.


As the gay flags and bunting in the Maidstone pavilions fluttered gaily on a bright but breezy Sunday and the camp followers cleaned the mess from night created by their men, dogs and children, the SLAUGHTER relentlessly continued.

However, this time James, who turned up with no hair (no... really) took the subsequent abuse on the chin and let his pent up aggression help turn things around somewhat (albeit in the brown of Old Monmouthians). Their quad (stroked by Pluto), were peerless in beating Globe and Doncaster to win the IM2 4x event. James won his heat in the Masterews B/C v Yare, but couldn't recover the 4 second headstart of his opposition in a very hard fought final to be beaten by 1 length.


Old Monmouthians IM2 4+ (aka Maidstone in disguise)

Hugh stepped in to help out an Old Monmothian IM2 double overpointed by a Nat Champs win the previous weekend. The unfamiliar sparing partners got a good start against Boston RC, but struggled to recover after clipping a lane bouy, and a scrappy few final strokes by Hugh lead to a dead-heat. A rather tidier re-row saw them win by a length. Despite another good row in the semi's they were defeated by a well drilled and polished Star Club crew.

Buoyed by the Monmouthian success, we picked up some late wins: the Vet F2x again dominated their event and won another set of pots after beating, Doncaster, Peterborough and Sudbury all very comfortably. They are a class act.


After a shaky start Huggy and Henry beat Milton Keynes by 3/4 length in their heat; while Olly and Gerraint beat Doncaster embarrassingly easily in their heat to set up an all Maidstone final in the Vet C/D 2x, and a guaranteed club pot! Olly and Gerraint had to give way 4 seconds... and got beaten by about 4 seconds in a good, hard race.


Vet C/D 2x Final Both crews looking very neat.
The IM3 double of Hugh and Pluto rowed through Northampton to win their heat, and their semi against Wolfson College. The final saw them beaten out off the stake boat by a couple of "more experienced" Champions of the Thames rowers, a length call after 15 strokes prettied it up and brought it back together; with 150m left they had pulled back to a lead of half a length when Pluto caught a not entirely insignificant crab. The remaining 150m weren't pretty but saw them pull back to only half a length down. Their opposition thanked them kindly, whilst remarking that they for them it was all down hill, the more youthful Gabriel and Nichols would no doubt go on to better things, we'll see!

By now, Charlie Mould, having gone through the trauma of a dead heat, a crash, and losing the re-row, had acquired the 'thousand yard stare' of a shell shocked Tommy. But help was at hand, and he eventually got a pot with Laura, Ali and Rick in the form of the Mixed IM3 4x.

The IM3 Mixed 4x winners. Note Charlie's 'thousand yard stare'.

A just creditable return on Sunday given the stack of entries we put in. So, what to do? Well, the coaches are going to have a think about putting a bit more structure into crew selection and regatta preparation. Watch this space.


Vet D and F 2x winning crews. Note Huggy thinks he might have found a more stable partner.

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